Anonymous said: IDK if you know much about BDSM or read the 50 Shades of Gray book (if you don't rly want to answer this, maybe you could point me to someone who's more knowledgable) but do you think the ppossible abuse aspect in it has been srsly overblown?
I know an awful lot about BDSM (been doing it in real life about seven years now) and an awful lot about 50 Shades, and:
No, it’s srsly underblown. I mean, this is a story about a guy who repeatedly hits a girl who doesn’t want him to and doesn’t enjoy it. That’s as clear-cut as you can get without the author actually writing out the words “He abused me. With real abuse. I literally 100% mean that he abused me.”
Using the word “BDSM” doesn’t change that. Having a “consent contract” doesn’t change that, not when he hits Ana tons when she hasn’t signed or really even had input on it. The only thing that could make Christian hitting Ana okay in BDSM terms is if before each time, she said (or communicated to the effect of) “Please hit me, I would like that,” and she says no such damn thing.
(“The sub isn’t supposed to like it” is an incredibly dangerous line of argument. You might as well punch a stranger on the street and say “you weren’t supposed to like it.”)
Also, he stalks her, yells at her intimidatingly a lot, and at one point breaks into her apartment and ties her to the bed, and this is verbatim from the book:
“No,” I protest, trying to kick him off. He stops. “If you struggle, I’ll tie your feet too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you.”
(And then she agrees to sex, sure, but at that point she’s already tied down and he’s already ignored “no.” What do you figure he’d do if she didn’t agree to sex, apologize and go home? Her saying “yes” at that point is consent the way giving a mugger your wallet is a gift.)
There are honestly points in this book where I have to remind myself that because it’s being marketed as a romance, Christian will not actually attempt to kill Ana.
1:06 pm • 31 July 2014 • 217 notes
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince (via boybitch)
(Source: whyallcaps.us, via boybitch)
3:03 am • 31 July 2014 • 140 notes
“I hope you fall in love
with someone who always texts back and never lets
you fall asleep thinking you’re
Thanks..i hope so too
(Source: slugly, via the-goddamazon)
3:02 am • 31 July 2014 • 231,275 notes
I think she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen ugh
(Source: leawrences, via actuallydnni)
2:54 am • 31 July 2014 • 38,217 notes
in a healthy, close relationship of any kind, when something upsets you, you need to bring it up. as soon as possible, even. cultivate an environment in which you both can talk about things that upset you, with the utmost attention to everyone’s feelings. it’s a really simple thing to do but it’s a thing i’ve been working on for a while and i’m getting actual nice things happening as a result
12:41 am • 31 July 2014 • 83,334 notes
What to do when you miss someone who you know isn’t good for you.
12:37 am • 31 July 2014 • 167 notes
Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff
My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk.
My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2
My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits.
Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.
This could SAVE a life.
dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving
Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s.
As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around!
listen to ur boobs
its all in the boobs
hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry
REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!!
3:37 am • 30 July 2014 • 554,991 notes